One really frustrating thing about having depression is that it often means I basically can’t trust myself.
For instance, I think I generally have a pretty good intuition about noticing if people I know dislike each other. I can usually tell if coworker A thinks coworker B is an okay dude or someone really annoying.
But when it comes to me, and how other people treat me, my senses tell me most of my coworkers find me irritating and weird and do not want to be around me. And I can’t tell how much of that is true and how much of that is my depression talking.
And of course I can’t talk to them about it. People tend to get upset if you let on that you think they hate you.